I missed...

I'm still not in the mood for this Sem. Its only the beginning... and i'm kind of sick of it. Shorter attention span for lessons.. worrying abt getting fr one place to another in sch.. worrying abt some things but i'll get over it some days..

Sometimes.. you just get sick of yourself tryin to assure everybody.. including yourself. (Dun get me wrong here.. I'm reallly grateful to have so many friends who are concerned abt me.) My grandma had a conversation w my sister a few weeks ago and asked my sister whether I have been throwing tantrum ( or get fraustrated) because of my condition. My sister told her I did not throw any tantrum... and added tt I hve been a good gal all this while.
How could I throw tantrum at ppl who love me so much and took great care of me when i'm in this state? I dun hve the rights to do so.. esp to my family members. All I can do for them at this period of time .. is to recover asap. I tried to assure them tt i'll be fine.. everything's gonna be fine. Yet.. sometimes.. I wld question myself.. i'm not so sure afterall. Yes.. up till now.. i still dun get answers tt i'm seeking for fr many docs (abt my condition). I'm an active kid.. and I dun wan to stop being active.

I dun want to spend my CNY w crutches. I dun wan to spend my weeks "crutching" ard.. troubling my frens to help me ard. Everybody has his own schedule. Everybody has his own modules and lessons to rush to. I'm not complaining cos it's really fine. It's just tt I seem to have a prob 'digesting' wat i'm feeling. I cant explain this feeling. I wish tt i hve an invisible fren to tok to.. Elbisivin :) *m i scarin u? ahaha..*

I've met some insensitive ppl. I'm usually the last to leave the LTs so that the crowd is cleared. Once, someone asked me what happened to my leg as she made her way to the LT exit. I told her I fractured my hip bone as I was doing a warmup for a dance concert. She paused for a second.. said "Oh.. " and started walking towards the exit. I din expect her to be so nonchalent abt it. Neither do I expect her to over-react, of cos. But at least.. its not tt difficult to make an eye contact w me and smile (since i'm tokin to u.. ) b4 u walk away, rite? If you want to react this way, must well.. dun even ask me ''what happened?". I'm not trying to make a moutain out of a molehill. It's just tt.. be sincere if you want to do sth. Dun ask for the sake of asking. It is pointless. Ya.. sincerity is so important. Do you do things jus bcos u r expected to do it in certain circumstances (like a social norm).. or are u doing it w a warm heart? And the sad thing is.. tt person is not a student.. but an elder.

On a happier note.. I did meet a few nice ppl in sch while "crutching" ard. They offered to help me :) Erm.. One guy offerd to piggyback me ( a fren's fren.. but I dun even know him in the first place!) aft every lec. I dun noe if he is rlly being helpful or not.. but.. hahah.. oh well.. thanx la but i prefer to be left alone in this case. hahah... One guy stopped walking when he saw me. Asked me if there's anything he could do for me. I smiled and told him its alright.. cos i hve a fren helping me. (see.. even when he saw someone helping me.. he offered to help! He is really a kind soul!) Despite me saying tt, he continued to wait and see if he could help me. He only left when my mum told him.. "it's reallyyyy alright.. thanx." Ya.. he offered to help when my mum and fren were there helpin me up the stairs. I was told by mummy later tt nite tt this kind-hearted guy drives. My reaction: "Oh isit? ok." Her reaction: "Aiyah.. u shd hve accepted his offer to help wat!!" ~FAINT~


I missed the Sun.. the beach. I missed driving. I missed jumping ard jus bcos i feel lke it...
But, what I missed most is.. walking.

P.S: need to hand in term papers soon.. and i wonder hw on earth m i goin to do my research in Library at this moment? Its so tiring.. when u cant walk :(

Somewhere Over The Window...

"Somewhere over the window...
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the window
Why then, oh why can't I?"

Mum was lying beside me, sound asleep.
Due to my pathetic condition, I was allowed to sleep w mummy at night.
It was a bright sunny morning.
Warm sunlight flooded the room
Birds were chirping playfully over the window.
It was a beautiful morning...
untill.....

these birds got overboard.

Birdy A shrieked, "!@#$%^&"
A few birdies joined in, "&^%$#@!"
Mum awoke from her beauty sleep, with a jerk.
"The noisy birds AGAIN!!!" she rolled her eyes.
Then she raced to the window and screamed at those noisy birdies.
Peace returned after mummy lectured those birdies.


But not for long.. i know.




These chirpy birds would be back tml...at the same time.. same window...



Now i know why mummy alwys wakes up sooo early.