Thursday, June 18, 2009
accepting and rejecting..
I've gone for 2 interviews and got job offers from both companies.
I rejected both in the end.
I guess most of my friends wonder why I would reject them in the first place given the current economy and unemployment rates.
I do question myself too. But i know that i'm not ready to commit to either job after I've been to the interviews. It's like sth's missing and I'm just not convinced enough. Not convinced by them that this is the job for me and not convinced by myself tt i'll stick to this job at this point of time in my life. The second interview with ttp was a humbling experience where i learn so much from them and felt so lucky tt they are willing to share with me about their precious tots. I salute them for their passion and hardwork for so many years. At the same time, i'm more aware tt this is not what i'm looking for for the first few years after graduation. Maybe in the future...
Of cos another impt reason is that I'm lucky cos I have no frets over the financial part.
I was having some random tots in addition to these ....
maybe i hve some probs w commitments.
HAHAHAHHAHHA!! i find it difficult to commit to one deal.. one particular job ( i hope not when it comes to r/s tou).
and i was reminded of secondary sch days... when i managed to change CCA 4 times throughout the 4 years ( cos i cant stay put in anyone of them for long) and I still manage to get A1 for my CCA. woahahahahahha!!!
Okay, jokes aside... i think i rlly need to think abt wat i wana do. Yet at the same time, not think so much. U know.. sometimes u jus need this impulse or urge to jus dive in and work on it w/o having too much reservations on ya mind.
Provided tt............................
resignation notice is 1 mth.
HAHAHAHAHA....
HAHAHHAHAHAH
Alright alright.. i'm kidding. (no, i'm not).
I believe tt things will be more settled n i'll be excited when i start work... when i've found sth i lke or think i have potential to grow and develop in my career.
Just a matter of time onli.
:)
I've gone for 2 interviews and got job offers from both companies.
I rejected both in the end.
I guess most of my friends wonder why I would reject them in the first place given the current economy and unemployment rates.
I do question myself too. But i know that i'm not ready to commit to either job after I've been to the interviews. It's like sth's missing and I'm just not convinced enough. Not convinced by them that this is the job for me and not convinced by myself tt i'll stick to this job at this point of time in my life. The second interview with ttp was a humbling experience where i learn so much from them and felt so lucky tt they are willing to share with me about their precious tots. I salute them for their passion and hardwork for so many years. At the same time, i'm more aware tt this is not what i'm looking for for the first few years after graduation. Maybe in the future...
Of cos another impt reason is that I'm lucky cos I have no frets over the financial part.
I was having some random tots in addition to these ....
maybe i hve some probs w commitments.
HAHAHAHHAHHA!! i find it difficult to commit to one deal.. one particular job ( i hope not when it comes to r/s tou).
and i was reminded of secondary sch days... when i managed to change CCA 4 times throughout the 4 years ( cos i cant stay put in anyone of them for long) and I still manage to get A1 for my CCA. woahahahahahha!!!
Okay, jokes aside... i think i rlly need to think abt wat i wana do. Yet at the same time, not think so much. U know.. sometimes u jus need this impulse or urge to jus dive in and work on it w/o having too much reservations on ya mind.
Provided tt............................
resignation notice is 1 mth.
HAHAHAHAHA....
HAHAHHAHAHAH
Alright alright.. i'm kidding. (no, i'm not).
I believe tt things will be more settled n i'll be excited when i start work... when i've found sth i lke or think i have potential to grow and develop in my career.
Just a matter of time onli.
:)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
"Don't lose yourself"
她说：
“自己是最重要的。
不管做什么，都不要迷失自己。
因为失去了‘自己’，什么东西都没有了意义…
在工作的时候，表现给老板看，不是最重要的…
最重要的是，知道你在做什么。
不要迷失了自己。”
Well…
Who doesn’t lose himself at different points of his life?
You won’t get to know yourself better if you never get to lose your self.
Perhaps it’s the pompous promise of youth.
Perhaps it’s a phase that everyone has to go through along the journey of self-discovery and growth.
Greed; wanting everything that you hope you can get hold of as you can’t decide what you really want. Cos’ the truth is… u cant have everything all at once nicely in place for you, most of the time.
Timing, opportunities every now and then and a little bit of luck
Teaches you to give up some things and gives u a taste of the reality.
Whetting your appetite, then force you to make a decision and live with your decision.
Nobody knows which is the right decision.
We only try to make the most appropriate decision and move on with life.
Maybe the more important question here, is not about making the right decision anymore.
The key question after all is,
“What do you really want?”
You might not get what you really want in the end.
But, at least, it serves as a guide to help you decide on your next step.
The sequence of the job interviews came about in a rather bad timing.
Well, who knows, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.
There are so many things I want to do… so many things I want to try.
There’s a time for everything, they said.
But they also said that you grab opportunities when they come along cos sometimes opportunities dun strike twice.
And so… I happen to be caught in these 2 situations.
Its too early to say anything at this point of time.
Let’s see what the current new job takes me to.
At the same time, I need to find out what I really want.
Maybe not immediately, but along the way…
Okay.
Along the way.
And i'm starting to make my way there...
starting...
:)
Friday, June 12, 2009
Blast to the job.
boss sms-ed me
"Ser Hian i have meetings whole day. We will prepare the letter of offer and email u next mon. PXXXXX"
And so ... the ever-so-helpful farmie drafted this letter for me....
for da boss.
"As per your emailed letter of offer, I would not pick it up.
Yours sincerely
HSH
This is a computer generated letter. No signature is needed"
HAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAHA
tank kew u leh.
boss sms-ed me
"Ser Hian i have meetings whole day. We will prepare the letter of offer and email u next mon. PXXXXX"
And so ... the ever-so-helpful farmie drafted this letter for me....
for da boss.
"As per your emailed letter of offer, I would not pick it up.
Yours sincerely
HSH
This is a computer generated letter. No signature is needed"
HAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAHA
tank kew u leh.
Monday, June 08, 2009
"The Gift"
'Lou.' Ruth looked up from the dinner table and saw him first. She leapt out of her chair and ran to him. 'Lou, honey, are you okay? Did something happen?'
His mother rushed to get a towel for him.
'I'm fine,' he sniffed, cupping her face with his hands and not taking his eyes off her. 'I'm fine now. I was calling,' he whispered. 'You didn't answer.'
'Pud hid the phone again,' she said, studying him with concern. 'Are you drunk?' she asked in a whisper.
'No,' he laughed 'I'm in love,'he whispered back, then raised his voice so that the whole room could hear. 'I'm in love with my beautiful wife,' he repeated He kissed her fully on the lips, then breathed in her hair, kissed her neck, kissed her everywhere on her face, not caring who was there to see. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered to her, barely able to get words out of his mouth, his tears were so heavy.
'Sorry about what? What happened?'
'I'm sorry for the things that I've done to you. For being the way I was. I love you. I never meant to hurt you.'
Ruth's eyes filled. 'Oh, I know that, sweetheart, you already told me, I know.'
'I just realised that when I'm not with you, I'm ruthless,' he smiled, and his tearful mother - who'd returned with a towel - laughed and clapped her hands, before grabbing her husband's hand at the table.
'To all of you,' he pulled away from Ruth, but wouldn't let go of her hand, 'I'm so sorry to all of you.'
'We know that, Lou, ' Quentin smiled, emotion thick in his voice. 'It's all water under the bridge now. Okay? Stop worrying and sit down for dinner, it's all okay.'
Lou looked to his parents, who smiled and nodded. His father had tears in his eyes and nodded emphatically that it was all okay. His sister Marcia was blinking fiercely to stop her tears, moving the silverware around on the table.
They dried him, they loved him, they kissed him, they fed him, though he wouldn't eat much. He told them in turn that he loved them, over and over again, until they were laughing and telling him to stop. He went upstairs to get a change of clothes before, according to his mother, he caught pneumonia. While upstairs, he heard Pud crying and immediately left his bedroom and hurried to his son's room.
The room was dark, with just a night light. He could see Pud wide awake and standing up against the railings of his cot like a woken prisoner held captive by the sleep army. Lou switched the light on and went inside. Pud viewed him angrily at first.
'Hey there, little man,' Lou said gently. 'What are you doing awake?'
Pud just gave a quiet little moan.
"oh, come here.' Lou leaned over the railings and lifted him up, holding him close in his arms and shushing him. For the first time ever, Pud didn't scream the house down when his father came near him. Instead, he smiled, pointed a finger in Lou's eye, in his nose, then in his mouth, where he tried to grab his teeth.
Lou started laughing. 'Hey, you can't have them. You'll have your own soon, though.' He kissed Pud on the cheek. 'When you're a big boy, all sorts of things will happen.' He looked at his son, feeling sad that he would miss all of those tings. 'Mind Mummy for me, won't you,' he whispered, his voice shaking.
Pud laughed, suddenly hyper, and blew bubbles with his lips.
Lou's tears quickly disappeared at the sound of Pud's laughter. He lifted him up, put Pud's belly on his head and started jiggling him about. Pud laughed so hard, Lou couldn't help but join in.
From the corner of his eye, Lou saw Lucy at the door watching them.
'Now, Pud,' he spoke loudly, 'how about you and I go into Lucy's room and jump on her bed to wake her up - what do you think?
'No, Daddy!' Lucy laughed, exploding into the room. 'I'm awake!'
'Oh, you're awake too! Are you both the little elves that help Santa?'
'No,' Lucy laughed Pud laughed too.
'Well then, you'd better hurry to bed, or else Santa won't come to the house if he sees you awake.'
'What if he sees you?' she asked.
'Then he'll leave extra presents,; he smiled.
She ruffled up her nose. 'Pud smells of poo. I'm getting Mummy.'
'No, I can do it.' He looked at Pud, who looked back at him and smiled.
Lucy stared at him as though he were insane.
'Don't look at me like that,' he laughed. 'How hard can this be? Now come on, buddy , help me out here.' He smiled at Pud nervously. Pud's open palm smacked his father across the face playfully. Lucy howled with laughter.
Lou laid Pud down on the ground, so that he wouldn't wriggle off the changing mat on top of the unit that Ruth used.
.
.
.
.
.
'You're supposed to put that cream on next.'
'Thanks. You'll always take care of Pud, won't you, Lucy?'
She nodded solemnly.
'And you'll take care of Mummy?'
'Yesssss.' She punched the air.
'And Pud and Mummy will take care of you,; he said, finally grabbing Pud's podgy legs and pulling him from under the cot and along the carpet while Pud screeched like a pig.
'And we'll all take care of Daddy!' she hurrahed, dancing around.
'Don't worry about Daddy, he said quietly, trying to figure out which way to put the nappy on. Finally he got the gist, and quickly closed the buttons on Pud's suit. 'Tonight we're going to let him sleep without his pyjamas.' He tried to sound sure of himself.
'Mummy puts the lights out so that he gets sleepy,' Lucy whispered.
'Oh, okay, let's do that,; Lou whispered, turning off the lights so that the Winnie the Pooh night light was all that circulated on the ceiling.
Pud made a few gurgles and spurts, non-words as he watched the lights.
Lou hunkered down in the darkness, pulling Lucy close to him, and he sat on the carpet hugging his little girl and watched the pooh bear of very little brain chasing a honeypot on the ceiling. It was his moment to tell her now.
'You know that no matter where Daddy is, no matter what's happening in you life, no matter if you're sad or happy or lonely or lost, remember that I'm always there for you. Even if you don't see me, know that I'm in here,' he touched her head, 'and I'm in here,' he touched her heart. 'And I'm always looking at you, and I'm always proud of you and of everything you do, and when you sometimes question how I ever felt about you, remember right now, remember me saying that I love you, my sweetheart. Daddy loves you, okay?'
'Okay, Daddy,' she said sadly. 'What about when I'm naughty? Will you love me when I'm naughty?'
'When you're naughty,' he thought about it, 'remember that Daddy is somewhere always hoping that you'll be the best that you can be.'
'But where will you be?'
'If I'm not here, I'll be elsewhere.'
'Where is that?'
'It's a secret,' he whispered, trying to hold back his tears.
'A secret elsewhere,' she whispered back, her warm sweet breath on his face.
'Yeah.' He hugged her tight, and tried not to let a sound pass his lips as his tears fell, hot and thick.
Downstairs in the dining room, there wasn't a dry eye in the house as they listened tot he conversation in Pud's nursery over the baby intercom. For the Sufferns they were tears of joy because a son, a brother and a husband had finally come back to them.
(pp. 292-297 of Cecelia Ahern's "The Gift".)
xxx xxx xxx
At least he knew sth was wrong.
At least he had the time to come back and fix things up, to make things better before he died.
How many people had the chance to do so?
It was sad that he had to leave so suddenly but he is still one lucky chap I must say.
;)
'Lou.' Ruth looked up from the dinner table and saw him first. She leapt out of her chair and ran to him. 'Lou, honey, are you okay? Did something happen?'
His mother rushed to get a towel for him.
'I'm fine,' he sniffed, cupping her face with his hands and not taking his eyes off her. 'I'm fine now. I was calling,' he whispered. 'You didn't answer.'
'Pud hid the phone again,' she said, studying him with concern. 'Are you drunk?' she asked in a whisper.
'No,' he laughed 'I'm in love,'he whispered back, then raised his voice so that the whole room could hear. 'I'm in love with my beautiful wife,' he repeated He kissed her fully on the lips, then breathed in her hair, kissed her neck, kissed her everywhere on her face, not caring who was there to see. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered to her, barely able to get words out of his mouth, his tears were so heavy.
'Sorry about what? What happened?'
'I'm sorry for the things that I've done to you. For being the way I was. I love you. I never meant to hurt you.'
Ruth's eyes filled. 'Oh, I know that, sweetheart, you already told me, I know.'
'I just realised that when I'm not with you, I'm ruthless,' he smiled, and his tearful mother - who'd returned with a towel - laughed and clapped her hands, before grabbing her husband's hand at the table.
'To all of you,' he pulled away from Ruth, but wouldn't let go of her hand, 'I'm so sorry to all of you.'
'We know that, Lou, ' Quentin smiled, emotion thick in his voice. 'It's all water under the bridge now. Okay? Stop worrying and sit down for dinner, it's all okay.'
Lou looked to his parents, who smiled and nodded. His father had tears in his eyes and nodded emphatically that it was all okay. His sister Marcia was blinking fiercely to stop her tears, moving the silverware around on the table.
They dried him, they loved him, they kissed him, they fed him, though he wouldn't eat much. He told them in turn that he loved them, over and over again, until they were laughing and telling him to stop. He went upstairs to get a change of clothes before, according to his mother, he caught pneumonia. While upstairs, he heard Pud crying and immediately left his bedroom and hurried to his son's room.
The room was dark, with just a night light. He could see Pud wide awake and standing up against the railings of his cot like a woken prisoner held captive by the sleep army. Lou switched the light on and went inside. Pud viewed him angrily at first.
'Hey there, little man,' Lou said gently. 'What are you doing awake?'
Pud just gave a quiet little moan.
"oh, come here.' Lou leaned over the railings and lifted him up, holding him close in his arms and shushing him. For the first time ever, Pud didn't scream the house down when his father came near him. Instead, he smiled, pointed a finger in Lou's eye, in his nose, then in his mouth, where he tried to grab his teeth.
Lou started laughing. 'Hey, you can't have them. You'll have your own soon, though.' He kissed Pud on the cheek. 'When you're a big boy, all sorts of things will happen.' He looked at his son, feeling sad that he would miss all of those tings. 'Mind Mummy for me, won't you,' he whispered, his voice shaking.
Pud laughed, suddenly hyper, and blew bubbles with his lips.
Lou's tears quickly disappeared at the sound of Pud's laughter. He lifted him up, put Pud's belly on his head and started jiggling him about. Pud laughed so hard, Lou couldn't help but join in.
From the corner of his eye, Lou saw Lucy at the door watching them.
'Now, Pud,' he spoke loudly, 'how about you and I go into Lucy's room and jump on her bed to wake her up - what do you think?
'No, Daddy!' Lucy laughed, exploding into the room. 'I'm awake!'
'Oh, you're awake too! Are you both the little elves that help Santa?'
'No,' Lucy laughed Pud laughed too.
'Well then, you'd better hurry to bed, or else Santa won't come to the house if he sees you awake.'
'What if he sees you?' she asked.
'Then he'll leave extra presents,; he smiled.
She ruffled up her nose. 'Pud smells of poo. I'm getting Mummy.'
'No, I can do it.' He looked at Pud, who looked back at him and smiled.
Lucy stared at him as though he were insane.
'Don't look at me like that,' he laughed. 'How hard can this be? Now come on, buddy , help me out here.' He smiled at Pud nervously. Pud's open palm smacked his father across the face playfully. Lucy howled with laughter.
Lou laid Pud down on the ground, so that he wouldn't wriggle off the changing mat on top of the unit that Ruth used.
.
.
.
.
.
'You're supposed to put that cream on next.'
'Thanks. You'll always take care of Pud, won't you, Lucy?'
She nodded solemnly.
'And you'll take care of Mummy?'
'Yesssss.' She punched the air.
'And Pud and Mummy will take care of you,; he said, finally grabbing Pud's podgy legs and pulling him from under the cot and along the carpet while Pud screeched like a pig.
'And we'll all take care of Daddy!' she hurrahed, dancing around.
'Don't worry about Daddy, he said quietly, trying to figure out which way to put the nappy on. Finally he got the gist, and quickly closed the buttons on Pud's suit. 'Tonight we're going to let him sleep without his pyjamas.' He tried to sound sure of himself.
'Mummy puts the lights out so that he gets sleepy,' Lucy whispered.
'Oh, okay, let's do that,; Lou whispered, turning off the lights so that the Winnie the Pooh night light was all that circulated on the ceiling.
Pud made a few gurgles and spurts, non-words as he watched the lights.
Lou hunkered down in the darkness, pulling Lucy close to him, and he sat on the carpet hugging his little girl and watched the pooh bear of very little brain chasing a honeypot on the ceiling. It was his moment to tell her now.
'You know that no matter where Daddy is, no matter what's happening in you life, no matter if you're sad or happy or lonely or lost, remember that I'm always there for you. Even if you don't see me, know that I'm in here,' he touched her head, 'and I'm in here,' he touched her heart. 'And I'm always looking at you, and I'm always proud of you and of everything you do, and when you sometimes question how I ever felt about you, remember right now, remember me saying that I love you, my sweetheart. Daddy loves you, okay?'
'Okay, Daddy,' she said sadly. 'What about when I'm naughty? Will you love me when I'm naughty?'
'When you're naughty,' he thought about it, 'remember that Daddy is somewhere always hoping that you'll be the best that you can be.'
'But where will you be?'
'If I'm not here, I'll be elsewhere.'
'Where is that?'
'It's a secret,' he whispered, trying to hold back his tears.
'A secret elsewhere,' she whispered back, her warm sweet breath on his face.
'Yeah.' He hugged her tight, and tried not to let a sound pass his lips as his tears fell, hot and thick.
Downstairs in the dining room, there wasn't a dry eye in the house as they listened tot he conversation in Pud's nursery over the baby intercom. For the Sufferns they were tears of joy because a son, a brother and a husband had finally come back to them.
(pp. 292-297 of Cecelia Ahern's "The Gift".)
xxx xxx xxx
At least he knew sth was wrong.
At least he had the time to come back and fix things up, to make things better before he died.
How many people had the chance to do so?
It was sad that he had to leave so suddenly but he is still one lucky chap I must say.
;)
Monday, June 01, 2009
toddley in action
I think i'm morphing into a housewife soon.
Mum is taking care of a 4 yr old kid. And i'm currently hmm.. her assistant.
So, I'm a part-time Baby-Sitter Assistant (BSA).
woahahah
Toddley is from Msia and has acquired a Msian accent in English and Mandarin. (note: Toddley is now immitating me, sitting beside me and using her toy n a book as an imagined 'laptop'. And start typing furiously beside me.. lke wat i'm doing now. Then she try to imagine herself as an operator, uttering some gibberish... msian accent english which i cant decipher while typing on the 'keyboard'.) HAHAH...
Alrighty, i'm v tired now.. and she cant stop talking as usual...
yaba da bada bada...
help~~~
hahaha
I think i'm morphing into a housewife soon.
Mum is taking care of a 4 yr old kid. And i'm currently hmm.. her assistant.
So, I'm a part-time Baby-Sitter Assistant (BSA).
woahahah
Toddley is from Msia and has acquired a Msian accent in English and Mandarin. (note: Toddley is now immitating me, sitting beside me and using her toy n a book as an imagined 'laptop'. And start typing furiously beside me.. lke wat i'm doing now. Then she try to imagine herself as an operator, uttering some gibberish... msian accent english which i cant decipher while typing on the 'keyboard'.) HAHAH...
Alrighty, i'm v tired now.. and she cant stop talking as usual...
yaba da bada bada...
help~~~
hahaha